Of Duties and Responsibilities

In one of my previous posts, I stated there how disappointed I am being not the one who bore my parents' first grandchild... Oh well, right now, I feel the opposite... I am happy that I am still single... that I'm living a quite comfortable life right now... without grave responsibility to think of... (except for looking for a stable job! hehehe)

Why am I saying these?

Because I can see how difficult it is to take care and rear a child... most especially with my sister's case... that the father's child is not with her to support her... he's not here to help my sister change the diapers,bathe the baby, feed the baby, etc... Actually, there are times that I pity my sister. She hasn't gotten enough sleep... and she's not able to do the things that she used to do (just like what I'm doin' right now - surfin' the net during the midnight... hehehe). Of course, she has to prioritize her adorable daughter...

Well, I'm just happy that she has matured... and I do hope that she learned her lesson... :) As I've said before, "experience is the best teacher..."

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Earlier in the afternoon, I called up the school that I'm seeking employment with... I inquired if the position is still open.. and thank God it is still available! I was scheduled for an interview Tuesday next week... (I don't think they're crazy to schedule me for an interview if the position has been filled, right?) Whew! What a relief! Actually, I was already scheduled for an interview last week... but for some reasons I wasn't able to make it... Anyway, I still have four days to prepare for the interview...

Aside from that, I also applied in a prominent university somewhere in Makati... I submitted my application thru Jobstreet.com. It's ESL teacher position... well, that's what I'd been doin' for the past year so why not make the most out of it, right? :)

I'm just excited to get employed... and the sooner, the better...

I'm ready for it...

I do hope that I'd be employed in either of these schools that I've applied in... :)

So, wish me luck! :)

Weekend in Moonwalk

Just got home from my weekend stay at Ate Ima's home... :)

So, what happened in my long weekend?

Friday... it was the last practice in preparation for our covenanting ceremony. i was late! grabe! it was raining very hard here in qc... ang hirap sumakay ng jeep bound to mrt! grrr... and when i got to mrt, ang tagal namang dumating ng train na mag-lo-load ng passengers bound to south. bad trip talaga! nakakahiya sa mga kasamahan ko. tapos wala pang kopya si master kris ng script kaya nung dumating lang ako saka nakapag-start ng formation... grrr! tapos natraffic pa kami ni oying papuntang parañaque (from makati)... talk about series of unfortunate events...

then, later in the evening, mama lyra decided that we won't be using ohp transparencies... she told me that we'd just prepare power point presentations for all the songs. and i hadn't started any song that time... so, i have to rush making the presentation the next day...

Saturday... mama lye, veia, kat, camille, angela, and i went to baclaran to have our confession. thank God we made it! we arrived at baclaran at around 11.

but before that, grabe, lumilipad yung pick-up nila velden sa multi. ang bilis ng patakbo ni mama! pati si veldz! as in... as for veldz, ganito kasi yun, nung hinatid nya kami sa sakayan ng baclaran sa multi, may nag-cut sa kanya na white corolla... well, you know naman, pag guys ang nasisingitan sa kalye, hinde puwedeng di nila ma-cut yung sumingit sa kanila... so, yun nga ang nangyari...

pero okay naman pagdating namin ng baclaran... ang bilis ng byahe at walang pila sa confession box... :)

then, we went home...

and i started making the presentation...

i finished making it around 4pm...

e si oying kelangan pang tapusin ang movie maker...

asus grabe! dumating kami sa ceremony around 5 na...

and nagsisimula na ang mass.

so, during the homily, nagmadali kaming i-set up ang computer and LCD projector.

buti na lang mabait yung pari namin... praise the Lord!

the ceremony went well... and we are all complete!

after that, we went to lim's residence and watched the whole movie presentation that oying made. di kasi napanuod lahat sa covenanting ceremony kasi kinuha na yung lcd for the 7pm mass...

sobrang bonding namin.. played text twist as a group... ang saya talaga as in!

Sunday... nag-grocery kami nila tita becky and the cuties para sa pambaon for the outing the next day... ang saya talaga... first time kong nakasama si ate ann... usually kasi di sya sumasama pag nandun ako e...

Monday... nagpunta kami sa laguna bel-air (sa bagong pinagawang bahay nila tita luz) then sa montevista - swimming to the max ang mga cuties... attendees?: tita becky, tito jack, tita luz, tito erning, ate tess & kuya doods, ate ima & kuya mhalo, the cuties - choy, cate, yam... and cheska... ate ann, yaya min, oying and i... napuno namin ang L300 nila kuya doods!

after that, from south - punta naman tayo ng north! hinatid na nila ako dito sa bahay namin... hehehe. parang mamanhikan kasi kumpleto ang isidoro clan e.. hehehe. yeah right! tapos sila tita luz naman hinatid sa malabon... joy ride talaga...

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The long weekend had been a bit tiring... but what the heck? I had so much fun... as in...

Sa totoo lang, nung nasa Laguna Bel-air kami, once again, nabuhayan uli ako ng loob (naks ang lalim! but its true ha!) na magpursige na makahanap ng good paying job... parang gusto ko uling i-pursue na makapagtrabaho sa States para makapagpatayo ng magandang bahay gaya sa Bel-Air...

But before that, I have to look for a good job here in the Philippines...

And you know what? Oying told me na parang mas gustong nyang magsettle down kami malapit kina Ate Tess sa Texas...

Hmmm... bahala na... dapat maplano nang maigi ito... for there are a lot of things to consider...

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I am now a part of the covenanted group...

And I still have to work out on my spiritual life...

I still have to set my prayer time... kelangan maayos ko na kung anong oras...

I know I still have a lot of things to work on, but I know God would always guide me...

Just when I thought...

Nakakabadtrip talaga ngayong araw na ito! Grrr!!!

Today's definitely not my day.I was supposed to go out today because I have an interview with some school. But because of some things that happened here in our house, I wasn't able to leave...

I know that I'm too old for this - to get affected by our family problems that has been existing since I was born! But, it still gets me! I thought things would be different because of my sister's baby. But no! I should've known better... Wala na yatang pag-asang maayos ang pamilya namin... Tsk tsk tsk... It's just getting worse... And why does the baby has to suffer what we have undergone? Kawawa lang sya talaga... I feel pity for her...

And what's really irritating me is her impulsiveness. Well, she thought of going back to the States again and she wanted us to move back to San Jose... Grrrrr!!! Nakakainis!!! She's making decision again without our consensus.

I don't know what's going to happen for the next days... I just hope things would get better... And definitely, I don't want to go back to San Jose again! No matter what happens I'm not moving back there!!!

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In times like these, I can't help but think about the family that my honey and I are planning to build... Yeah, we've been talking about it for the past years of our relationship... I know it's wrong to have that inner vows, but definitely, I want to have a happy family... very far from the family I've grown up with!!!

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I remember our YE last summer. I shared my thoughts and insights about the picture I picked... as far as I can remember, I shared with them what kind of family would I like to have... what kind of mother and wife would I like to be... and what's the current situation of my family is... That time, I just want to let go of my feelings that I've kept for a long time... Kahit ano pang sabihin nila, I just want to be true to myself... No point of denying... I just want to share to them a part of me that I've been hiding for for several years..

Fate and Destiny

Awhile ago, I chatted with my college friend. And guess what's his status message? We met by fate. Are you my destiny? Grabe! It really caught my attention that's why I messaged him at once. And true enough, my friend told me that he met somebody, and that he likes her a lot. And guess where or how they met? Thru an online game. Though he hasn't revealed his feelings for her, I think they're getting along well. He just doesn't want to rush things...

I also happened to have another friend who found his soulmate thru the internet... And they're both very happy right now...

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Internet has been a lot of help nowadays. It's not only about school or office works, but it makes transfer of information faster - thru email for instance...

I just didn't think that meeting someone's soulmate or destiny is probable thru the net because some people do not reveal their real identity - in chat rooms for example. They're impostors.. fraud... What I'm saying is, it's quite difficult to trust somebody whom you just met thru the net...

Anyway, I'm just happy that my two friends are happy right now with their special someone...

I just hope it's for keeps...

Come to think of it... is this the trend nowadays? What happened to the 'traditional' way of meeting people? Is this how love works now?

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Here's Love moves in mysterious ways -- sang by Julia Fordham... revived by Nina and MYMP.

Truly, love is so mysterious... and I can attest to that... kwento ko na lang next time... :)

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Who'd have thought

This is how the pieces fit

You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it

I forgot how we ever came this far

I believe we have reasons

But I don't know what they are

So blame it on my heart

Love moves in mysterious ways

It's always so exciting

When love appears over the horizon

I love you for the rest of my days

But still it's a mystery

Of how you ever came to me

Which only proves

Love moves in mysterious ways

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take

We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith

So hold me close

Never ever let me go

Cause even though we think we know

Which way the river flows

That's not the way love goes

Like a ticking of a clock

Two hearts that beat as one

But I'll never understand

The way it's done...

Love moves in mysterious ways...

How to Deal

We had a small fellowship yesterday at lunch because it's our fiesta... and it coincided with my sister's arrival at home... Yes! She was already discharged from the hospital. My mother's brother and his family came and had the chance to visit the baby. I also invited my honey to come over. Well, he did come a little bit late... Hehehe.

Everybody's so excited with the baby... not to mention my mother and father. They looked very happy. Excited masyado sa kanilang apo! Hehehe.

I just can't help noticing how happy my parents are. I've never seen them this excited and happy before! Most especially my nanay. Parang wala lang sa kanya lahat ng ginastos nya sa mga gamit ng bata at panganganak ng kapatid ko. I just hope that things would be better here...

At the back of my mind, I'm just wondering if she'd be this supportive and excited if this happened to me... hehehe. Weird thinking huh.

But seriously speaking, I feel a little bit jealous. Wala lang, kasi parang na-deprive kasi yung privilege ko (since I'm the eldest child and my boyfriend and I are planning to get married a few years from now) sana na unang magkaanak at makapagbigay ng apo. Iba kasi ang panganay na apo e. I should know, because I have experienced 'extra special treatment' from my grandmothers... Hehehe. I don't intend to get pregnant outside marriage, though.

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My honey and I spent the afternoon together. After eating lunch, we watched the movie League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in the tv. At around 4:30, we went to SM North Edsa and watched the movie Fantastic Four. It was great! I did enjoy it owing to the fact that the film was really good and I'm with my honey.

Afterwards, we had dinner at home. Then we watched CSI (Las Vegas) and CSI New York. In between the show and commercial, I was able to air out my feelings towards this situation... I'm just afraid na baka pagkinasal na kami and magkababy, baka di ko mahandle yung situation... that I might neglect either him or our baby... and the same thing with him... but he assured me that no matter what, he would still have time for me... Ang weird ko talagang mag-isip. Hehehe.

Oh well, maybe I am really afraid that this might happen in the future. Or maybe I am craving for some attention from my family perhaps, that's why I feel this way...

I really feel weird... I'm beginning to think if this has got something to do with some of my unresolved issues in my past...

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Finally, I got the chance to post in our yahoo group my sentiments towards some issue about the covenanting. But before I posted it, I asked my honey's opinion about it... and he didn't see anything wrong about it. He supported my decision to post it.

And I'm happy that Te're, one of the core members of the community, agreed with me...

I just hope that the post would serve an eye opener for all the members of the community - whether they would be part of the covenanted group or not...

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The only constant thing in this world is change...

It's Official!

So, I wasn't able to blog for the past days because I accompanied my sister in the hospital... she gave birth yesterday afternoon. She labored for about four hours. Though it's not quite a long time, I was bored to death! But then, the boredom ended when the companions of the other women giving birth there, who happens to be their respective husbands, started chatting and shared some thoughts, insights, and stories. I'm one of the boys again! Hehehe. Thank God she and her baby are fine! By the way, it's a girl. She's 5.1 lbs. and 46 centimeters.

I'll be officially called TITA BERNA here in our home (though Ate Ima's 'cuties' has been calling me in that way since I was introduced to them). And of course, my sister is now a mother! I just hope that she would be able to handle her new responsibilities. It's no joke to be a mother... not to mention that she's stuck in quite a difficult situation since she's basically the sole responsible for the child.

Right now, I'm quite tired and exhausted. I didn't get enough sleep. The room was quite cold. I had to eat from time to time so that I would generate heat. I wouldn't wonder if I'd gain a few pounds. Hehehe.

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At around three o' clock in the afternoon, I had to leave the hospital and go to Moonwalk because we have covenanting practice. I arrived at around 4:30. Oh well, as usual, me and Kris Arellano were the first persons there to arrive. The others were late, while the others didn't attend and didn't even bother to inform us that they couldn't make it. And so, we started our practice just an hour before the youth mass. We had to rush the practice because we have to attend the mass. Grrr!

I remember in one of the talks in preparation for the covenanting, Oying(the speaker in the talk) told us that "It is better to be loving than to be righteous." Really, I am trying my best to be loving. But it just gets me when other people seem to be unmindful and insensitive of other people's time. While others cancel some of their appointments just to be able to attend the gathering, the others are being so irresponsible! In fact, sometimes I wonder if they're really serious about this covenant they're about to enter. I mean, how could they say that they ready and willing to be a part of the covenanted group if they couldn't attend a simple covenanting ceremony practice! I just hope that they'd take this covenant seriously.

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After the youth mass, Oying and I attended the reunion of the old CYM members/leaders. Got the chance to chat with them after a long time. And I was happy when I learned that Kuya Ron told me that he misses the community life. So I told him to attend our prayer meeting... I'm hoping that he would be able to join us again... :)

Well, some of them were asking when's our plan to get married... oh well, here we go again... Question: Would I be disrepectful if I tell them just to wait for our wedding invitation. Hehehe. Just a thought. Sometimes, I'm just tired of hearing the same question from my friends. What do you think? :)

The Art of Holding On and Letting Go

It's blogging time! :)

I just finished chatting with my old friend. It has become my habit to blog after chatting with somebody. I guess it's because that's the time I get some 'inspiration' or insight for me to write about.

This time, we talked about this certain former significant other of mine... For some reasons, I can't reveal his name because he might be reading this. I did remember giving him my URL when we chatted a few weeks ago. I'm kinda worried that he might be offended.

Anyway, we had a little argument... and it was challenging! Hehehe. I love being challenged... :)

The thing is, I told him about our love story... how we started, and how we parted ways...

Here's an excerpt of our conversation that sort of made me think... that struck me...

ofed16: kaso, nakapanghihinayang sa part mo talaga...

ofed16: un.

angel_71900 : nakapanghinayang kasi....

ofed16 : hindi kayo nagkatuluyan.

angel_71900: siguro nga, pero come to think of it, i'm better off without him e...

ofed16: sabi mo nga...

ofed16: all the best

angel_71900: hehehe

angel_71900 ganun talaga...

angel_71900 : i made some wrong decisions e

angel_71900 : i'll just have to deal with them, di ba

ofed16 : that wrong move, made you more "right"

angel_71900 : i'm just lucky to have somebody who accepted and loved me despite of my past

angel_71900 : correct ka jan!

ofed16 : yup

angel_71900 : kaya nga sobrang kagagahan ko na lang talaga pag pinakawalan ko pa sya...

angel_71900 : hehehe

ofed16 : no comment...

ofed16 : it's really up to both of you. not you alone.

ofed16 : di mo rin masabi mangyayari lahat sa kinabukasan...

ofed16 : madami pa rin pwede o posibleng mangyari...

ofed16 : pero siguro sa ngayon, mabuti na ganyan ang pananaw mo sa buhay...

ofed16 : keep it up!

angel_71900 : thanks!

angel_71900 : pero kasi before i kept wondering kung ano bang mangyayari sa future...

angel_71900 : what if magkita kami uli

angel_71900 : what if makipagbalikan pa sya sakin

ofed16 : ewan...

ofed16 : kaw na mismo makakasagot nyan...

angel_71900 : puro what if e...

angel_71900 : full of uncertainties....

ofed16 : basta, ano man mangyari... think of it twice...

angel_71900 : then one day i realized na hinde naman pwedeng ganun

ofed16 : yaan mo... don't worry much... andito "kami" para sayo...

angel_71900 : i don't want to miss my happiness right now just because of that

angel_71900 : hehehe

ofed16 : i don't think so...

angel_71900 : ha? y s that so?

ofed16 : basta... don't give all you've got. eka nga...

ofed16 : para kung di man magwork... handa ka pa rin....

ofed16 : sabi nga... don't just look on one side of the coin.

ofed16 : always consider both side...

angel_71900 : bahala na.... pero kasi ako, di ko kayang magcommit sa isang relationship na di 100% e

ofed16 : you'll never know when that coin will flip up or don't whenever...

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Now, I want to comment on these...

Honestly, there was really a point in my life when I was so 'gaga' and desperate over that guy. I loved him too much. I invested too much emotions to the extent that I neglected my other priorities - I got failing marks, I lost my interest in being a news writer in our college newsletter and being an officer of Pax Romana and MUKHA AD. I just didn't feel like doing them... And what's worse? I keep on crying every night - thinking where I went wrong... why he left me for no reason at all... I keep on thinking/ wondering if he ever loved me... if he would still come back to me...

Now, tell me, does that make me a better person?

Love should make me a better person, right?

So, I think I'M MUCH BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM!

And I can't move on with my life if I would continue to live in my past... I simple can't. And hey, I have a life of my own too... I don't want to miss what the world has to offer me because I keep on thinking about my past...

I don't want to live in a life of "what if's..."

I just have to let him go... totally... after all, I've given him enough time to make his move to come back to me... But nothing happened. It wasn't just meant to be. No matter how hard it was for me, I'll just have to let him go and really move on with my life...

I have to take a risk...

And that I did...

After a year or so, I fell in love again...

I met a guy who accepted and love me despite of my past...

And we've been steady for three years now...

I wouldn't say that our relationship is perfect or even close to one...

But what's making the difference is that 1.) ours developed from friendship and 2.) ours is centered to God (we're both serving Him thru CYM).

The future may seem to be uncertain...

But what the heck?

I love him and that's it...

I simply can't commit and love less than a hundred percent of myself...

After all, he's all worth taking the risk...

And if someday, if things wouldn't work out between us, at least, I can proudly tell myself that I have loved... and been loved back...

As they say "It's better to have been loved and failed than to have never loved at all."

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THROUGH THE FIRE (Chaka Kahn)

I look in your eyes and I can see
You've loved so dangerously
You're not trusting your heart to anyone...
You tell me you're gonna play it smart
We're through before we start
But I believe that we've only just begun

When it's this good there's no saying no
I want you so I'm ready to go

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For just to be with you I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way...
Right down to the wire, even through the fire

I know you're afraid of what you feel
Your still need time to heal
And I could help if you'll only let me try
You touched me and something in me knew
What I could have with you,
Now I'm not ready to say goodbye

When it's this good there's no saying no
I need you so I'm ready to go

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For just to be with you I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way...
Right down to the wire, even through the fire
Through the fire, to the limit, through the fire, through whatever

Moved On

I just finished chatting with my highschool friend. I was supposed to be doing my blog when I connected to the internet two hours ago. But then again, when I saw him online, I decided to postpone doing this. I just had a hard time multi-tasking. Hehehe. If you're reading this Kuya Ofed... ayan ha, malakas ka sa akin kaya inuna kitang kausapin. But kidding aside, I didn't have any regret of spending time chatting with him. After all, it's not so often that I got the chance to talk to my old friends. Yeah, he's one of the very few friends that I had during my High School days.

Anyway, although it was kinda late when we finished chatting, I still have some energy in me so I decided to post my entry...

Hmm... just like what I've mentioned, we chatted for about two hours. And after he bid me goodbye, I had a mixture of feelings... A part of me tells me that two hours seemed not enough to catch up the seven years that we didn't see each other. Grabe, sobrang nonstop ang kwentuhan... alam mo yun, gusto mo pang kausapin, kaya lang he was sleepy na eh... And of course, I was happy because we really got to talk about many things... and I felt kinda funny when we were talking about the past. In short, I did enjoy chatting with him! It just felt good connecting to people from your past... I just didn't think that I could do that after what had happened with me and my ex-beau, who happens to be his friend also.

So, our conversation focused more about my whereabouts. And you know what? Though I told him some things that weren't so nice to recall, I didn't feel any bitterness... In short, I've really moved on with my life! That past is past, and that I shouldn't let that affect me or make me miserable. Though, sometimes, it's nice to look back in the past and learn important lessons from them... After all, experience is the best teacher...

I am so happy with this realization. And I do hope that someday, I'd be able to settle all the other unresolved issues in my past.

There may be unpleasant experiences I had in my past, but these taught me a lot of great lessons. They make up for who I am right now. And I am happy that I've matured somehow... :)

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Kuya Ofed... it was nice chatting with you... sensya na kung medyo makulit ako... thanks for your time... for listening to me...

Honey, once again, I've realized how lucky I am to have you... Seryoso ako. Thank you for accepting and loving me for who I am... I love you honey! Mwaaah!

To my brothers and sisters in the community... most especially to my groupmates in YE... lari, kate, angel, and niño... thanks for accepting me for who I am... for listening to me... haaay... nami-miss ko na YE natin. can't wait for our facilitator's seminar and workshop next summer... sana matuloy... Paging Kris Arellano... :)

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Truly, people are special gifts... >> I hope I got it right... it's one of the hand outs given during our YE last Summer.

Just an Ordinary Day

Just like what I've mentioned in my previous post, today's our 37th monthsary but it's as if it was just an ordinary day... I had my usual routine... except that I accompanied my sister for her check up. There's been a little problem with her pregnancy. Yesterday's supposedly her due date... but she hasn't given birth yet. The baby seemed not to be moving normally... Oh well, I just hope that everything's going to be fine. Honestly, I'm quite nervous about this... I just think that she's a little bit too young for this... But I do hope that she would be able to handle these things maturely...

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I called up Southville International School today to follow up the status of my application. I was a bit disappointed because there has been some reservation on my application... I guess it's just not meant to be... I guess I have to start passing my application to other schools again...

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Here's a song revived by Nina. It's entitled Constantly. I really like this song... It reminds me of somebody... I wish I had the guts to tell him how much he meant to me. How much I want to comfort him during the times that he was so down and lonely. How I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him that it's okay... I'm here beside you... everything's gonna be fine... I wouldn't leave you no matter what...

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CONSTANTLY

I knew it was there

Though I tried to hide it

The feeling just kept on shining through

Haven’t known you that long

So I try to deny it

But the feeling was much too

Much too strong

Could this be love

Deep down inside

Tearing me apart

I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you’re on my mind

Thinking about you all the time

I can’t sleep no matter what I do

I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Why do I feel this way

When I know you have someone

That you’re seeing each and everyday

Should I play this game

Of just being your friend but i know that’s not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong

When it feels so strong

Tearing me apart I feel it in my heart
No I don’t want to start

No trouble

Between you and I and you lover

But I must tell you what I’m going through

Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

Good luck,bad luck...

Good luck, bad luck no one really knows, only God...

This statement popped into my mind as I was thinking about how I would begin this entry... And I do believe that this is the 'synthesis' of what had happened to me last weekend.

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Last Friday, I went to Moonwalk because I attended the practice for our covenanting ceremony. Well, that time, I was really having second thoughts of going there because it's not so advisable for me to travel due to some protests going on - calling for the president to step down... Oh well, I still pursued - anyway this is for the Lord. I'm sure that He wouldn't let anything bad happen... and I've always claimed that He's my protector and my shield... Anyway, the trip went smoothly.

The practice went well too, though our keyboardist (Te're) wasn't there because she was sick. We were able to practice all the songs that we're going to sing during the ceremony. I just wish that there would be more attendees in the next practice... there were only a handful who came. I hope that those people who didn't attend the practice for no reason at all (and didn't bother to inform somebody that they couldn't make it) would realize the gravity of this covenant. My point is, how could they commit themselves to the Lord and to live the life of the community if they wouldn't be responsible enough in attending a practice/gathering.

As usual, my honey brought me home. And as soon as I got home, I really prayed hard and had some Bible cutting... I had a sort of heart to heart talk with Him, finally I got the 'guts' to talk to Him about the things that had been making me anxious for quite some time. And being the merciful God that He is, He assured me that I shouldn't let this problem get me. True enough, He answered my problem concretely. Literally.

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Last Saturday, I had my interview at MSA-Katipunan. It went fine, but I'm not so sure if I'd still pursue my application there. The thing is, if ever I got accepted, I have to go to work during Saturday and Sunday and my shift is 10am-7pm. I don't think I could compromise my work with my prayer meeting during Saturday. I know I have to be practical, but I know that if God really wills it, He will give me a work that won't be in conflict with the prayer meetings.

After my interview, I went to Moonwalk for the prayer meeting. That gathering is exta special because it's core selection! We got to choose three additional core members and from thereof, the core head and the assistant core head would be selected.

Anyway, I was really flattered to have been nominated for the core... though I wasn't selected, that mere nomination was quite a 'privilege' - there were only five of us who were nominated out of 20/25 members of the group. I guess this isn't my time yet to be a part of the Core group... and maybe God wants me to concentrate more on my ministry and being part of the Teaching Ministry.

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Last Sunday, my Honey and I, together with Ate Tess, Kuya Doods, Ate Ima, Kuya Mhalo, Tito Jack and Cristy, watched Game 5 Championship Game of PBA at Cuneta Astrodome. It's Talk & Text versus San Miguel...

This is actually the first time that I watched a live PBA.. and it's championship! We were seated in the Lower Box so we got a good view of the game. In addition, most of those who were seated in that area were San Mig supporters, so I can't help but cheer also. It is as if I were an avid fan of that team. :) I'm not really a basketball fanatic, but what the hell, I had so much fun! Everybody was so excited about the game, each of them cheering for his team. It was a good fight... the scores were close during the fourth quarter... But in the end, San Mig won and so they were the champion for the season...

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This day marks our (my honey and I) 37th monthsary...so we've been on for 3 years and 1 month. Unfortunately, we wouldn't able to celebrate it because of unavailability of funds. Hehehe. Funny but it's true. We're facing some financial difficulties right now. Aside from the fact that he's the one paying for everything - food, gas, fare, etc., he's also spending quite a big amount for his medication and check up with his ortho. He's been suffering from back pain due to his psoriasis.

I do hope that everything will be alright... :)

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To KC, Veia, and Kris A., congratulations... God has chosen you to be a part of the core group...

To Ate Ima and Kuya Mhalo, thanks a lot for accommodating me in your home. May God return your generosity a hundred fold...

To Ate Tess and Kuya Doods, thanks for the treat! :)

Some Remarkable Men in my life...

Just a few minutes ago, I got to chat with somebody special from my past. Hehehe. So, basically, that's where I got my inspiration for this entry...

So, I would like to post about some of the remarkable men whom I really consider special. Take note: some of them have become my significant other and the rest, otherwise... I wouldn't mention their names, for the sake of their privacy, they might be scandalized kasi. Hehehe. Yeah right?!

Remarkable Man # 1

• I met this guy when I attended a Leadership Training Seminar at UST Marikina Retreat House last June 10, 2000.
• He's a cool guy! He's got a good humor...
• We bacame friends at an instant... easily became comfortable with each other.
• He's the eldest child of his parents just like me... :)
• I guess he's almost a perfect gentleman... why? because he offered to bring me home after the seminar. but for some reasons, I didn't allow him (coz I just met him for one day!). So, hanggang SM North lang nya ako hinatid. Then he took the bus bound to Pasig.
• He's a home buddy... loves to eat... loves anime... :)
• I really find him attractive! :)
• He was my date during my debut... :)
• He's a good son... very obedient to his parents...

Remarkable Man # 2

• He's a friend and classmate of my sister during his AB years in UST.
• He's the eldest child of his parents.
• He's very friendly. We got along easily over a telephone conversation.
• I consider him my KUYA!
• He was like my crying shoulder when I just broke up with somebody. As in, he patiently listened to my so-called stories... paulit ulit lang naman. :)
• He's a ladies' man... knows how to treat a lady properly...
• He's fun to be with. I never had a dull moment whenever I'm with him...
• I miss this guy! I miss talking to him over the phone for hours... I miss going to movies with this guy... PAGING KUYA!!!
• Oh, I almost forgot, he's musically inclined... :)

Remarkable Man # 3

• For some reasons, he was the first one that came into my mind while I listening to this certain love song... Not that I love this guy, but I do like him a lot!
• He's musically inclined... :)
• MYSTERIOUS... as in... hmmm... that's why I wanted to know more about him... if only I had the means.. hmmm...
• Deep...
• He's responsible...
• Sobrang major crush ko 'tong guy na 'to... alam mo yun, yung feeling ng isang HS student pagnakikita nya yung crush nya... yeah, kinikilig ako... :)

Remarkable Man # 4

• This guy is my childhood crush...
• After nine years, we met again...
• We were both single when we met again, but we had some issue about our past... you know, we were seeing each other but we still got a hang up with our ex's... hmmm..
• I guess I got so excited when I learned that we're both studying in the same university... different colleges, though... oh well, I really exhausted all my means to find him... :)
• But things didn't work out between us...

Remarkable Man # 5

• This guy was my elementary and highschool schoolmate...
• He's my first love! :)
• He's smart, humorous, responsible, 'artistically'inclined...
• Almost too perfect...
• Sobrang nice nya talaga, as in!

Remarkable Man # 6

• He's my highschool schoolmate...
• Sort of my 'shock absorber' when I was younger...
• He's a nice guy... sobrang kasundo ng mga kapatid ko and ng tatay ko... :)
• He's a math wizard...
• Musically inclined...

Remarkable Man # 7

• I have been steady for this guy for 3 years now...
• Sobrang love ko 'tong Honey ko...
• When I met this guy, I really prayed to God that if ever He would give me a boyfriend, I want it to be this guy...
• He's bubbly, humorous, musically inclined, God fearing, has a good fashion statement... :)
• He may not be my first love or first boyfriend, but definitely, he's the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with! I love you very much honey! Mwaaah!!!

So, what do you think? Do I have a good taste with men or what? Hehehe... Find anything common among them? :)

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Honey, this song's for you... I just can't help remembering how we started... and how our relationship has grown into after how many years of nurturing it... and how we've come this far... :)

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" The Closer I Get To You "

The closer I get to you

The more you make me see

By giving me all you got (tell me more)

Your love as captured me

Over and over again

I tried to tell myself that we

Could never be more than friends

But all the while, inside ,

I knew it was real

The way you make me feel

Lyin' here next to you

Time just seems to fly

Needing you more and more (more and more)

Let's give love a try

Sweeter and sweeter love grows

And heaven's there for those

Who fool the tricks of time

With hearts of love will find

True love in a special way

Come a little closer so that we can see

Into the eyes of love

Just a little closer let me speak to you

I want to softly tell you something

Come a little closer let me whisper in your ear

Cuz I wanna tell you something

Move on in real close so we can celebrate

The way we feel about each other's loving

Reality Check

Finally, I got the chance to blog! Aside from the fact that we do now have an unlimited DU internet connection, nobody's here to bug me. Hehehe. It's not that I'm alone, but everybody's busy doing his own stuff so I guess this is my perfect time to post...

So, where do I begin?

Ah, I've been jobless for about two weeks now... Not that I'm proud of it... but at least I'm free from my boss. You know, if things were different, I wouldn't have resigned. I still feel responsible for the kids that I've left behind. Though I'm only an assistant teacher, I've felt an attachment towards them. I do still miss and think about them until now. On the other hand, I have to be firm with my decision. It's just that I don't think I'm only worth as much as what my boss compensates me... I mean, I've worked hard in my college and my mother didn't send me to one of the best universities here in the Philippines just to earn a wage worth of a helper. I guess she has a point! I'm worth more than that. So, I'm planning to pursue with my MA in PNU (English Language Teaching) this coming second semester. I guess I'll just think about pursuing my MA in Ateneo when the right time comes - when I can already afford to study there by myself.

Right now, I'm still waiting for call/reply from the employers that I applied for...

I have to be careful in choosing the employer... I don't want to end up working for the wrong one. Though I know there's no such thing as perfect boss, I guess what I would be looking for is an employer who knows how to value his employees... definitely not somebody who exploits!

I guess I have to be more patient in getting a job. After all, patience is a virtue.

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Last June 28, my honey and I, together with some of the CYM members, attended Jessie's church wedding. So far, this is the only wedding that I attended that started literally on time. As in four o' clock in the afternoon sharp...

Anyway, the reception was held at Max's Sucat. After eating, Mama Lyra rendered a song - Power of Love. As expected, it was beautifully sang. Wagi ka Mama! And of course, we wouldn't miss the traditions throwing of bouquet and garter. They say that whoever catches it would be the next to get married. So all the single ladies lined up and tried to catch the bouquet, and so is with all the single men and tried to catch the garter.

Unfortunately, my honey and I weren't able to catch the bouquet and garter, respectively.

Haay! To be perfectly honest, I really hoped that I'd be able to catch the bouquet. I'm really on it. I was really wishing that I would be the next one (even if it's only for fun!). How pathetic. As if. I don't really know. When I was there lining up, all the excitement faded. I guess this is a reality check... I guess it kinda depresses me that eventhough we've been steady for three years now, I know (let's be realistic here ok!) that it may take a few more years before we can finally settle down. It's not that we're still uncertain of each other - if we're really the one for each other, but the point is we're not yet FINANCIALLY STABLE! The truth is, we haven't had any single cent saved for our future. And it adds up to my depression everytime people would ask when we're getting married. I know for a fact that they mean well, and I guess they're kinda excited about it (most especially our brothers and sisters in the community - since we're the only ones who are in a steady relationship)... But I just hope that they would be a little bit sensitive about this issue of getting married. This is not helping, especially right now that my chance of getting employed in a good company seems to be a fat chance...

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It's been two years since I graduated... And right now, I haven't accomplished anything that I would be proud of!

You see, before I graduated, it's like I've planned everything... that I would be employed in a good school... that after two years of teaching, I would be taking my MA...

But it's quite the opposite of what's happening to me right now...

I've been transferring from one employer to another... I can't seem to find the perfect employer for me...

And I am jobless right now...

What is wrong with me???

I've always prided myself for being somebody who is a goal and result oriented person...

But I haven't got any result from my hardwork...

I am tired of what's happening in my life right now...

This is not the kind of life that I planned to live...

What is happening to me???

In times like these, I am just happy that I have a community who's been continuously there to comfort me.. my honey who's been very supportive with all the decisions I made... my family whom I can depend upon... and the Almighty God... who's been there for me all these years to guide me, to console me... He's been faithful though at times I've been unfaithful...

And I sing to you Lord

A hymn of love

For your faithfulness to me

And I'm carried in everlasting arms

You never let me go

Through it all

Reality check... I AM BLESSED... :)

Thank you for reminding me of these things which I may have taken for granted...

Thank you Lord for being a faithful God... :)