Reality Check

Finally, I got the chance to blog! Aside from the fact that we do now have an unlimited DU internet connection, nobody's here to bug me. Hehehe. It's not that I'm alone, but everybody's busy doing his own stuff so I guess this is my perfect time to post...

So, where do I begin?

Ah, I've been jobless for about two weeks now... Not that I'm proud of it... but at least I'm free from my boss. You know, if things were different, I wouldn't have resigned. I still feel responsible for the kids that I've left behind. Though I'm only an assistant teacher, I've felt an attachment towards them. I do still miss and think about them until now. On the other hand, I have to be firm with my decision. It's just that I don't think I'm only worth as much as what my boss compensates me... I mean, I've worked hard in my college and my mother didn't send me to one of the best universities here in the Philippines just to earn a wage worth of a helper. I guess she has a point! I'm worth more than that. So, I'm planning to pursue with my MA in PNU (English Language Teaching) this coming second semester. I guess I'll just think about pursuing my MA in Ateneo when the right time comes - when I can already afford to study there by myself.

Right now, I'm still waiting for call/reply from the employers that I applied for...

I have to be careful in choosing the employer... I don't want to end up working for the wrong one. Though I know there's no such thing as perfect boss, I guess what I would be looking for is an employer who knows how to value his employees... definitely not somebody who exploits!

I guess I have to be more patient in getting a job. After all, patience is a virtue.

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Last June 28, my honey and I, together with some of the CYM members, attended Jessie's church wedding. So far, this is the only wedding that I attended that started literally on time. As in four o' clock in the afternoon sharp...

Anyway, the reception was held at Max's Sucat. After eating, Mama Lyra rendered a song - Power of Love. As expected, it was beautifully sang. Wagi ka Mama! And of course, we wouldn't miss the traditions throwing of bouquet and garter. They say that whoever catches it would be the next to get married. So all the single ladies lined up and tried to catch the bouquet, and so is with all the single men and tried to catch the garter.

Unfortunately, my honey and I weren't able to catch the bouquet and garter, respectively.

Haay! To be perfectly honest, I really hoped that I'd be able to catch the bouquet. I'm really on it. I was really wishing that I would be the next one (even if it's only for fun!). How pathetic. As if. I don't really know. When I was there lining up, all the excitement faded. I guess this is a reality check... I guess it kinda depresses me that eventhough we've been steady for three years now, I know (let's be realistic here ok!) that it may take a few more years before we can finally settle down. It's not that we're still uncertain of each other - if we're really the one for each other, but the point is we're not yet FINANCIALLY STABLE! The truth is, we haven't had any single cent saved for our future. And it adds up to my depression everytime people would ask when we're getting married. I know for a fact that they mean well, and I guess they're kinda excited about it (most especially our brothers and sisters in the community - since we're the only ones who are in a steady relationship)... But I just hope that they would be a little bit sensitive about this issue of getting married. This is not helping, especially right now that my chance of getting employed in a good company seems to be a fat chance...

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It's been two years since I graduated... And right now, I haven't accomplished anything that I would be proud of!

You see, before I graduated, it's like I've planned everything... that I would be employed in a good school... that after two years of teaching, I would be taking my MA...

But it's quite the opposite of what's happening to me right now...

I've been transferring from one employer to another... I can't seem to find the perfect employer for me...

And I am jobless right now...

What is wrong with me???

I've always prided myself for being somebody who is a goal and result oriented person...

But I haven't got any result from my hardwork...

I am tired of what's happening in my life right now...

This is not the kind of life that I planned to live...

What is happening to me???

In times like these, I am just happy that I have a community who's been continuously there to comfort me.. my honey who's been very supportive with all the decisions I made... my family whom I can depend upon... and the Almighty God... who's been there for me all these years to guide me, to console me... He's been faithful though at times I've been unfaithful...

And I sing to you Lord

A hymn of love

For your faithfulness to me

And I'm carried in everlasting arms

You never let me go

Through it all

Reality check... I AM BLESSED... :)

Thank you for reminding me of these things which I may have taken for granted...

Thank you Lord for being a faithful God... :)