Just when I thought...

Nakakabadtrip talaga ngayong araw na ito! Grrr!!!

Today's definitely not my day.I was supposed to go out today because I have an interview with some school. But because of some things that happened here in our house, I wasn't able to leave...

I know that I'm too old for this - to get affected by our family problems that has been existing since I was born! But, it still gets me! I thought things would be different because of my sister's baby. But no! I should've known better... Wala na yatang pag-asang maayos ang pamilya namin... Tsk tsk tsk... It's just getting worse... And why does the baby has to suffer what we have undergone? Kawawa lang sya talaga... I feel pity for her...

And what's really irritating me is her impulsiveness. Well, she thought of going back to the States again and she wanted us to move back to San Jose... Grrrrr!!! Nakakainis!!! She's making decision again without our consensus.

I don't know what's going to happen for the next days... I just hope things would get better... And definitely, I don't want to go back to San Jose again! No matter what happens I'm not moving back there!!!

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In times like these, I can't help but think about the family that my honey and I are planning to build... Yeah, we've been talking about it for the past years of our relationship... I know it's wrong to have that inner vows, but definitely, I want to have a happy family... very far from the family I've grown up with!!!

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I remember our YE last summer. I shared my thoughts and insights about the picture I picked... as far as I can remember, I shared with them what kind of family would I like to have... what kind of mother and wife would I like to be... and what's the current situation of my family is... That time, I just want to let go of my feelings that I've kept for a long time... Kahit ano pang sabihin nila, I just want to be true to myself... No point of denying... I just want to share to them a part of me that I've been hiding for for several years..