How to Deal

We had a small fellowship yesterday at lunch because it's our fiesta... and it coincided with my sister's arrival at home... Yes! She was already discharged from the hospital. My mother's brother and his family came and had the chance to visit the baby. I also invited my honey to come over. Well, he did come a little bit late... Hehehe.

Everybody's so excited with the baby... not to mention my mother and father. They looked very happy. Excited masyado sa kanilang apo! Hehehe.

I just can't help noticing how happy my parents are. I've never seen them this excited and happy before! Most especially my nanay. Parang wala lang sa kanya lahat ng ginastos nya sa mga gamit ng bata at panganganak ng kapatid ko. I just hope that things would be better here...

At the back of my mind, I'm just wondering if she'd be this supportive and excited if this happened to me... hehehe. Weird thinking huh.

But seriously speaking, I feel a little bit jealous. Wala lang, kasi parang na-deprive kasi yung privilege ko (since I'm the eldest child and my boyfriend and I are planning to get married a few years from now) sana na unang magkaanak at makapagbigay ng apo. Iba kasi ang panganay na apo e. I should know, because I have experienced 'extra special treatment' from my grandmothers... Hehehe. I don't intend to get pregnant outside marriage, though.

###

My honey and I spent the afternoon together. After eating lunch, we watched the movie League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in the tv. At around 4:30, we went to SM North Edsa and watched the movie Fantastic Four. It was great! I did enjoy it owing to the fact that the film was really good and I'm with my honey.

Afterwards, we had dinner at home. Then we watched CSI (Las Vegas) and CSI New York. In between the show and commercial, I was able to air out my feelings towards this situation... I'm just afraid na baka pagkinasal na kami and magkababy, baka di ko mahandle yung situation... that I might neglect either him or our baby... and the same thing with him... but he assured me that no matter what, he would still have time for me... Ang weird ko talagang mag-isip. Hehehe.

Oh well, maybe I am really afraid that this might happen in the future. Or maybe I am craving for some attention from my family perhaps, that's why I feel this way...

I really feel weird... I'm beginning to think if this has got something to do with some of my unresolved issues in my past...

###

Finally, I got the chance to post in our yahoo group my sentiments towards some issue about the covenanting. But before I posted it, I asked my honey's opinion about it... and he didn't see anything wrong about it. He supported my decision to post it.

And I'm happy that Te're, one of the core members of the community, agreed with me...

I just hope that the post would serve an eye opener for all the members of the community - whether they would be part of the covenanted group or not...

###

The only constant thing in this world is change...